This last weekend…

This last weekend was a hard one.

For those of you who know me, you know that my uncle (basically a 2nd dad) died in February of this year.  My uncle Jeff was such a part of my life that it’s been really hard to power through the last 9 months.

Jeff was always trying and reaching out to everyone he knew to make sure they were doing ok, myself  included.  He loved unconditionally and was such a good person.  He had his flaws (just like the rest of us) but he loved.  It didn’t matter what that person had done, good or bad, but he loved.  One characteristic I struggle with on a daily basis.  I love, but conditionally.  Jeff just loved, and everyone he knew, knew it.

The day he died, the one thing I heard several people say is “Who’s going to tell me I’m beautiful?? Who’s going to say that he loves me?”  Jeff was that person.  He always loved and he always thought every woman he was close to was beautiful.  He thought I was beautiful – even when I was feeling like the most horrible person on the planet (a feeling which I’ve felt more than once).

Anyway – this last weekend I had an experience that I’m not going to share with the world.  All I know is that it was tender and I will treasure it always – just like I treasure my time with my uncle.

There are good forces in the world, and there are bad ones.  I will continue to find the good ones in my life – much like my family and my uncle Jeff would want me to.  And more importantly – like I should and do – want to.

Jeff – you are so loved, and so very missed.  You left your mark on this world, and I hope that I can do the same.

–          b